Some of my family are what I would not hesitate to call "Fundamentalist Christians".
They don't like my lifestyle, they don't agree with it.
By "lifestyle" I mean that am bisexual. Now, for me, that's not a "lifestyle"choice. I have no more control over who I fall in love with, than a straight person. But to one particular member of my family it is a "choice" and if I would not "surrender myself to Jesus" so he could "cleanse me of my sin" this family member does not want me around their children.
I am deeply wounded by this. Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner? I'm feeling pretty hated right now.
In addition, I used to be a Christian, of strong faith. I loved the bible, I love singing hymns. I did truly love Jesus. None of this "cleansed me" of my same sex attraction. And truly, I offered it up to the Lord.
I was not "cleansed".
I don't believe that I can be. I've come further in my journey of discovery since then, since I believed that my same sex attraction automatically meant I was a raving lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with that, I love lesbians ;) ) and realised I was still attracted to men. See, I didn't even realise there was this third option (bisexuality).
The crux of what really upsets me about this situation is that this family member has this odd double-think going on, they can somehow tell me they love me, but at the same time genuinely believe that my sexual orientation makes me a paedophile, not fit to be around children. I don't know what that says about their opinion of my parenting, but surely it can't be anything good.
My current partner is male( barely) and you would think this would satisfy them, but no, because we are unmarried we are sinning.
Maybe it just doesn't matter and I'm being crazy?
No comments:
Post a Comment