ARGH!

My head is itching like crazy, I think it's something to do with lithium, which I have now been on for some months. It's also flaking and scaly.
I looked this up on the internet and apparently it is called lithium psoriasis. Trip to the Dr's (again) for me I think.

Mood swingitus

The past few weeks have been pretty rough for me, sorry I haven't posted.
Have had some family issues and have been in the "manic" phase of my bipolar.

My mind races, I stop eating, I don't sleep for days. Eventually I collapse. But probably thanks to the lithium it has calmed down much more quickly than it normally does. Smoking pot gives me an appetite even if I am manic, and that is a good thing because without it I end up much more physically ill, drained and feeling sick.

I'm gonna bugger off, and smoke my 50th fag of the day. A bad habit which afflicts bipolar people much more than unipolar or normal people.

Playing Nursie

My Father has just had his stitches out, he had an operation on his hand a few weeks ago, and I've been busy playing nurse, cleaning it and changing his dressing.
He didn't complain at all while the nurse was digging a stitch out of his hand, I would have been whinging bitterly!
It has given me a chance to practice dressing a hand, I've not had much practice with that!

Modest swimsuit....

High fashion for the modest among us!

I just love, love LOVE this neat redesign, made from swimsuits. It's good enough to wear out, let alone the pool! I love modest designs, being less than comfortable with my figure, but this is just perfect!

Are elderly people worthless?

So, my Great-Grandmother (who is 99, 100 in august, happy birthday nan!) got a call from her doctors surgery. She just had some bloodwork done so her and her daughter (my nan, 77, her carer) went to the doctors thinking it was something to do with that.

It wasn't. In fact the Dr called her in to ask her if she would like to be resuscitated "if" something happened.

My Great-grandmother is far from tired of life, she said, "yes, of course I would want resus".

The doctor went on to tell her the surgery has been asked to get this information, and to illiustrate the "pitfalls" of resus. Yeah, like not being dead......

She again explained she wanted resus, and the doctor then proceeded to blank her, talking instead to my grandmother, asking her to "talk" to my g-nan about it when they got home.

I am horrified. Are our elderly people in the U.K now defined by how much it costs to keep them alive?

Hate the Sin, but Love the Sinner

Some of my family are what I would not hesitate to call "Fundamentalist Christians".

They don't like my lifestyle, they don't agree with it.

By "lifestyle" I mean that  am bisexual. Now, for me, that's not a "lifestyle"choice. I have no more control over who I fall in love with, than a straight person. But to one particular member of my family it is a "choice" and if I would not "surrender myself to Jesus" so he could "cleanse me of my sin" this family member does not want me around their children.

I am deeply wounded by this. Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner? I'm feeling pretty hated right now.

In addition, I used to be a Christian, of strong faith. I loved the bible, I love singing hymns. I did truly love Jesus. None of this "cleansed me" of my same sex attraction. And truly, I offered it up to the Lord.

I was not "cleansed".

I don't believe that I can be. I've come further in my journey of discovery since then, since I believed that my same sex attraction automatically meant I was a raving lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with that, I love lesbians ;) ) and realised I was still attracted to men. See, I didn't even realise there was this third option (bisexuality).

The crux of what really upsets me about this situation is that this family member has this odd double-think going on, they can somehow tell me they love me, but at the same time genuinely believe that my sexual orientation makes me a paedophile, not fit to be around children. I don't know what that says about their opinion of my parenting, but surely it can't be anything good.

My current partner is male( barely) and you would think this would satisfy them, but no, because we are unmarried we are sinning.

Maybe it just doesn't matter and I'm being crazy?

Norovirus. Horrible. Ick.

So, what a lovely weekend I had. Child ill, Partner ill (we think its the norovirus) took up all of my relaxation time. Now, I've started throwing up. That would be fine if I didn't have stuff to do!

I also had (in between waking periods during which I felt pretty crappy) a vivid dream, in which I was wearing a skirt and trainers/sneakers (which I would NEVER do, fashion no no!) and freaked out, then I realised that my partner was dressed the same. He found this amusing. Fever dreams are weird!

I'm hoping I don't pass it on to my dad, he would not be amused, as he gets no sickpay at his work.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Norovirus/Pages/Introduction.aspx