Failure to sleep..

So, no sleep for me, I think I've gone past the point of tiredness tonight.

I thought I would tell you all a little about myself before I wade into serious stuff in my next few posts.

My name is Victoria, my nickname is Tori. I was handed this moniker by my first boyfriend, Toby, who is now my partner, we split up after five years together in 2001, and have now been back together for six months. I will get into this more at some point, because it really is quite a story. I am currently deliriously happy.

I am a Celtic Pagan, (following my Irish roots I guess!). I came to a place where Christianity and the Church were doing me nothing but harm. I was outed as a lesbian (I'm actually bisexual) while at military boarding school. To say that it was hell doesn't do the whole drama justice. It stripped me of my faith in people, and God. (Again, more about this another time!) and paganism offered me an accepting and fairly practical alternative.

I am also Bipolar.

This far more than my religion or sexuality defines my life. I wish it didn't, but it does. The daily regime or pills, including lithium, dictate when I sleep, even eat. The periods of depression are soul searing, but I have now not made an attempt on my life for five years.

It is probably sad that this feels like a real achievement.

I strive to remain healthy for my little one, she needs me, she doesn't have a dad.

I warn you all that my moodswings show in my writing, if I am depressed, you will know all about it! I'm kind of hoping this blog will help me deal with this aspect of my life. I often feel very alone.

If you are depressed, or desperate, comment, and I will take time to respond. I know better than most how desperation feels.

Now, I'm off, to write you all a story :)